When you lose sight of the things you want, you lose yourself in that madness.
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Don't expect me to know, don't say I told you so, don't say "You should know by now." It's important to be reminded everyday even if it's sickening to hear the same words roll off the tip of your tongue. Somewhere, somehow, you don't know how important those few words are to them. Whether it gets them (me) through the day, puts me to sleep at night, or keeps me sane. You don't know how important it is to them (me) until you read their minds. They could live in knots and knives and those few words could be the only string they're holding on to their humanity. You don't know, you don't judge, you don't criticize, you just do.
You don't know, you don't know, you don't know. You don't know the demons they're fighting. You don't know and never will understand the fears they're having. You don't understand how intricate every detail, every fiber of their lives are. You don't know how they crumble like the Berlin wall every day, shredding little pieces of themselves. You don't know how they (me) fear rejection, fear being wrong, fear being misleading. You don't see how hard they (me) work every day to prove themselves. You see only results, not effort. You don't know and you never will.
.............you lose yourself. You lose your sanity, your pride, your freaking brain cells.
"You don't understand me."
"You don't know me at all."
"Why do you care?"
"You wouldn't understand anyway."
Today, I almost lost my mind.
Yours truly.