"We all have our demons to fight."
wrath. greed. sloth. pride. lust. envy. gluttony.
My demon? Myself.
wrath. greed. sloth. pride. lust. envy. gluttony.
She's my own reflection. Except, she's more real than the real me. She's not hesitant, she speaks without thinking. And truthfully, she spoils it. She spoils everything. She ruins every chance of happiness given. She waits for no clock, waits for no perfect moment. Because no moment can ever be created, when she's spoiled it from the start. Shameless, I would say.
wrath. greed. sloth. pride. lust. envy. gluttony.
She has dark hair, chestnut shade really. But they seem so dark under all these lights. So dark like a raven's. Her eyes are like a pool of sorrow, deep and endless. They curve at the ends, cat-like, and hinted a smile. Her skin isn't the clearest to see nor the smoothest to touch. Her lips were a flat line; upper lip shaded, lower lip chapped. Her cheekbones weren't high nor attractive. Her hair fell flat and neatly off the shoulders, all the way down to her waist. Plain, really. Plain yet cunning.
wrath. greed. sloth. pride. lust. envy. gluttony.
She never gives in. She wants to win, she must always win. She never gives in, even to nonprofitable bets. Funny really, where can one ever be such. She also loves to wish. To hope. To keep faith. All for things she knows will never, ever come true. She knows the outcomes, the best to the worst, yet still yearns for the chance. As though hoping a meteor would fall, and somehow lighten her chances. Not forgetting, she's envious. Green like a grasshopper.
She would smear on eyeliner for the fun of it. To look rebellious. To be rebellious. To act rebellious, and actually be convincing. She would cut it, carve it, waste her life in vain. She would be wild, be out of control. Be wasted and laugh because it's funny. Because she's hysterical. Because she's just so damn fucking funny being wasted. Because time waits for no one, and sorrow comes hunting it's prey. Why be a victim when you can be it's hunter.
On second thought, she could just not move. She could just sit here watching herself do the mistakes she knows so clearly of and watch her whole world crumble down. She would sit there and not move, sit so still, and watch like a bird. Just watch. And tell herself, " So, this was what you wanted?"
She could be so many things. She could be so horrible, so cruel, so mean, so heartless. Or she could be so shamelessly beautiful, deceiving, sweet like cherry. She could be anything, angel or devil, but she's still a demon right under the facade. Not even deep, just under the skin.
And me, the real me? What could I possibly do? Who am I, this powerless being, doing going up against her worst fear? I must be dreaming. Heck, not even in dreams will I rest well. This alter ego shit catches up fast, like an adrenaline rush.
lol what am i even trying to convince myself.
She would smear on eyeliner for the fun of it. To look rebellious. To be rebellious. To act rebellious, and actually be convincing. She would cut it, carve it, waste her life in vain. She would be wild, be out of control. Be wasted and laugh because it's funny. Because she's hysterical. Because she's just so damn fucking funny being wasted. Because time waits for no one, and sorrow comes hunting it's prey. Why be a victim when you can be it's hunter.
On second thought, she could just not move. She could just sit here watching herself do the mistakes she knows so clearly of and watch her whole world crumble down. She would sit there and not move, sit so still, and watch like a bird. Just watch. And tell herself, " So, this was what you wanted?"
She could be so many things. She could be so horrible, so cruel, so mean, so heartless. Or she could be so shamelessly beautiful, deceiving, sweet like cherry. She could be anything, angel or devil, but she's still a demon right under the facade. Not even deep, just under the skin.
And me, the real me? What could I possibly do? Who am I, this powerless being, doing going up against her worst fear? I must be dreaming. Heck, not even in dreams will I rest well. This alter ego shit catches up fast, like an adrenaline rush.
wrath. greed. sloth. pride. lust. envy. gluttony.
Worst of all?
Demons never learn.
wrath. greed. sloth. pride. lust. envy. gluttony.
Yours truly.