It gets so hard. Just so hard, every single day. Just the pressure of having to be someone who fulfills everyone's expectations, it gets tough. Tough to a point I know I can't handle. One day, I am asked to do a good deed. The next, good deeds get you no-fucking-where so just be a bad ass. Every day, I am hit with this constant pressure of being an almost-perfect human being for everyone. The best part is? Nobody knows that.
I am in no position to tell the entire world how tough my life is, because there are people who have it worse. I don't blame society, what is there to blame? Maybe if I was just more perfect for people, people would stop complaining. People would stop telling me what to do. These demands don't usually get to me. But today is just one of those days where I don't know myself anymore. I don't what else to do to fulfill everyone's wishes. It's as though I have given up being myself.
But then, I think again. No, I can't turn a cheek to them. They lead a life too, they probably had it tough as well. Perhaps rougher than mine. I wouldn't criticize them for it. I wouldn't call them selfish for being cautious and protective over the things and people they love.
Then I look at a different side of the picture. When my life goes bitter, I fight fire with fire. When it's sweet, it's like heaven. And then I start telling myself to be more optimistic, because there's always a rainbow after the rain.
So you've walked into my life, casting on a new and brighter sunshine over me. And then I tell myself, "This is what I've been waiting for." Everything just seems content. Enough. Nothing else would matter. Like you've succeeded a whole bucket list before your death, pure achievement. Over-the-clouds kind of happiness.
That's right, happiness.
So now, I look back at the things I've blurted out and think "I have to clean myself up."
Truthfully, this life is a roller coaster. As it goes, it's complicated.
This is what I've been waiting for. ♥
Then I look at a different side of the picture. When my life goes bitter, I fight fire with fire. When it's sweet, it's like heaven. And then I start telling myself to be more optimistic, because there's always a rainbow after the rain.
So you've walked into my life, casting on a new and brighter sunshine over me. And then I tell myself, "This is what I've been waiting for." Everything just seems content. Enough. Nothing else would matter. Like you've succeeded a whole bucket list before your death, pure achievement. Over-the-clouds kind of happiness.
That's right, happiness.
So now, I look back at the things I've blurted out and think "I have to clean myself up."
Truthfully, this life is a roller coaster. As it goes, it's complicated.
This is what I've been waiting for. ♥
Yours truly.